this is my quest – to follow that star.

Today, I have to share two things with you right now. My frustration of my mac mail problems and the sheer joy of my complete an utter triumph over the recent (well sort of recent) bane of my existence. It started about a month and a half ago. All was well and right in the world of Amber Lee, then all of a sudden both my mail accounts on my mac computer decided to only receive messages.


K wait a minute, I’m on such a freakin high right now I cannot even contain myself. You don’t even have a clue about how frustrated I was that for once in my life, it seemed like I couldn’t solve a problem, a technical problem. Which even though I have absolutely no training in whatsoever, I seem to have this innate ability to dig and search and try and mess around until I find a solution. Ergo tonight at 12:32am.


So as I was saying… my mac mail just woke up one morning and said “Amber FU. I refuse to send your mail and it doesn’t matter how important they are or how pissed you get, I refuse to do what I am supposed to do and I’m going to get so much satisfaction in seeing you squirm over the next 36 days.” Alright so maybe that’s not EXACTLY what it said or was thinking but if my computer could talk I’m pretty sure that’s what it would have said..Considering I beat it quite regularly..Yes I said beat.. sometimes I have to slap my computer to stop it from making weird noises and I’m sure that’s because it’s old and busted and breaking down but whatever… it works for me.. so far *crosses fingers*

Alright. So my computer is royally screwing up and I’m searching up EVERY possible answer I can think of on google and nothing is helping. Man, I’m changing codes, server addresses, passwords, deleting passwords, enabling shit, un-enabling (is that even a word?) shit, opening and closing, starting and restarting. I am doing everything humanly possible to try and find a solution and 36 damn days go by. Mind you I wasn’t exactly completely devoted to doing it every day because I could use my phone for email and stuff but I still couldn’t seem to fix my computer. Never the less I didn’t give up. I have been so damn sick and tired of it not working that I couldn’t possibly give up now. I had invested too much time and way too much frustration to just throw in the towel and call support. Yea I said it. I probably could have called Apple Support or even Telus or Gmail support but because I’m a tad, well I like to call it determined but others may call it stubborn (and shame on you guys).

ANYWAYS, as I was saying… I knew I could solve the problem I just didn’t know how or when it would happen but I knew it would. I believed I could do it.. even though I was loosing faith I still believed. So, the point I’m getting to here is I decided that tonight was literally going to be my last night of trying on my own and then tomorrow I would call support or some kind of web/mail support. I was on my last nerve and gave it my last go and VOILA. Someway, somehow I figured it out and solved my 36 day dilemma. I manage to configure the right server address’, certificates and passwords to make it work. I have been so excited and proud of myself that I have been dancing figuratively and LITERALLY around my house, praising myself for my hard work and perseverance. A bit dramatic? Maybe. A tad overzealous? Most definitely. However the moral of the story is that I succeeded in what I set out to do, which only confirms that I can do whatever I set my mind and heart to. Cheesy? Sure but who said cheesy isn’t true? That’s right, no one.

So before I go I just wanted to say that whatever your desires or whatever your challenges in life, don’t give up. The key to life is persevering in the areas that really count. It may take a while, years or even numerous mistakes to figure out what really matters and counts to you but when you do finally figure it out, go for it. Don’t hold back and run full steam ahead with your whole heart, mind, body and soul. Don’t ever give up until you’ve gotten what you wanted or done what you’ve set out to do. There’s no greater feeling than finally conquering the very feats that have battled your hopes, dreams and goals. Now sometimes you make come across obstacles that are actually more so doors closing but don’t give up. Unfortunately more often than not it takes a veteran to notice the difference between defeat and redirection but this realization comes from experience and vicariously living through others. So even though your situation might take a slight turn and try to tell you something that you don’t want see or are not ready to hear it’s okay, that’s normal. Even though one dream or hope or goal may seem to but cut short, where it really counts is how you choose to accept the obstacles and what you decide to do with them. Use them to your advantage or simply succumb to them and admit defeat. The choice is always ours.

I leave you with one of my favorite quotes…

This is my quest —
to follow that star
no matter how hopeless,
no matter how far —
To fight for the right
without question or pause,
to be willing to march into hell
for a heavenly cause!
– The Impossible dream (Man of La Mancha)

So I ask you, what is your Star and how do you intend to “catch” it?

– A.




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