I know what you’re thinking… and although life is full of bullshit I’m actually talking about BitterSweet – BS. The definition of bittersweet lends itself to a few examples, the one that we would choose that best encompass’ what we feel when we say “oh so bittersweet” is – pleasure alloyed with pain. So my question here tonight, or rather this morning is how exactly is it possible to feel pain and pleasure at the same time? I mean the only few things that I can think of that would capture the essence of the meaning would maybe be when you hit your funny bone in your elbow and even though it KILLS, for whatever reason you can’t stop laughing.. and it almost feels kinda good…in a twisted way obviously haha! Or let’s say when you have sex for the first time (and this may only pertain to women but I’m sure all of you get the analogy) kinda hurts but you keep doing it because for some strange reason it feels good and you some how know it’ll get better…(or you hope) lol..
Seriously though. The real reason we use the term “bittersweet” is more or less to describe a feeling of like a sad happiness. For instance, your ex whom you know things could never work with ends up marrying someone else. While you wish them all the happiness in the world, it some how feels bittersweet because you wonder what could have been had things turned out between the two of you. Or perhaps, it’s a promotion you really wanted but it went to a co-worker of yours that was well deserving of it. While you’re happy for them, you wonder and wish how it could have been you and thus we have this inner battle of happiness against the sadness.
So once again I ask, how is it possible we feel happy and sad about a particular thing, at the same time? Is this the nature of human beings? Are we forever plagued to feel two opposing emotions? Destined to feel regret yet contentment at the same time? Most of us might say yes, heck! I might even say yes depending on the mood or situation but I’d like to suggest another alternative. Maybe this feeling of bittersweet isn’t really an “emotion” per say, that exists. Maybe it doesn’t exist at all. Maybe it’s just an excuse to hang between the balance of two opposing choices.
By human nature we are innately born with the ability to not take responsibility for our own actions. To try and transfer the blame, if you will. Even the bible talks about it in Genesis when Eve ate the forbidden fruit and gave it to Adam. God asked what Adam had done and without question or pause he blamed Eve; Eve then blamed the snake (or satan) for deceiving her. This is the earliest account we have (some might disagree), of shifting the focus, if you will, off of ourselves and onto someone or something else. You see if we are able to stray from admitting the truth, guilt or our mistakes, we more often than not tend to avoid the consequences, or at least we think we do. However the logic behind this rationalization ends up fooling us in the end. We get by without feeling remorse or regret for a short while but somehow, someway it always ends up catching up with us in the end.
With that being said, is it possible to eradicate this emotion we feel called ‘bitter sweetness’. I believe so. Although two questions need to be brought to your attention. One – am I ready to face the situation that has gotten me here and two – am I ready to let it go. Acknowledging and facing our fears, mistakes and regrets allow us to learn, grow and prosper beyond what we see ourselves achieving. It allows us to reach a place of contentment where even though the situation may not make sense or it’s not completely resolved it doesn’t affect your daily routine, outlook on life or how you treat the people around you. You will be able to look back on an experience and say “I’ve learned my lesson” or “I’m better or stronger because of it”. It allows us to draw any and every positive from any and every negative situation which will intern dismiss the feeling of unsureness. After all, when you are unsure of things, whether it be your future, how you reacted or neglected to react or how you allowed things to get to the place they are today, it breeds doubt in the mind and doubt breeds insecurity and insecurity breeds regret, remorse and even resentment. Those feelings are all recipes for a emotional disaster that would stray anyone away from being your friend, confident and even partner.
So my last question to you is are you ready to face whatever situation that has you feeling bittersweet? Are you ready to let it go? Let go, or as some or myself might say, let go and let God. To each their own but whatever avenue you choose to take to help you dismiss your feelings of bitter sweetness, make sure you do it with a willing heart and an open mind. Healing comes when the mind has finally gotten to a place where understanding the situation is no longer a priority but rather accepting it and moving on to bigger and better things that the heart is willing to know.
Just remember this, to not make a decision it to make a decision; so no matter the choice you make, make it and make it with your whole heart.